Curveball

There are times when life throws us unexpected curve balls. These unforeseen circumstances disrupt everything in their path which also includes any plans we have made. Recently I was faced with one of these unexpected events when I suddenly became ill. For a few weeks I tried to ignore it, hopeful that it would go away on its own but this time it would not just go away.

After seeing doctors then specialists I was faced with a very harsh truth, I am out of work temporarily. Talk about a curveball; there are bills to pay, mouths to feed and then school. It is hard not to fall into a dark mind space when everything you have worked so hard for is put on temporary hold — being in this mindset of ‘why me?’ Is certainly not conducive to achieving much of anything beyond depression. And really what good does that frame of mind do any of us?

I will admit I fell into that dark place for a little while; I am human after all and subject to feeling sorry for myself. However, I am reaching a point where I need to be my own coach and pep talk myself out of this negativity. My conclusion is that if it had to happen, at least it has happened around tax time when I have a cushion to be off of work. I have some unexpected time to apply to my studies and towards my love of writing. I can use this time to better myself instead of bringing myself down.

I think it is hard for many caretakers to care for themselves, but this is something we all need to come to terms with. We get sick, we face unexpected sorrows, we get burnt out, and there are times when we need to give ourselves the same level of care, we would show our patients and clients. Unexpected things are always just around the corner; we will never stop them from occurring. The hope is that we can get through them and grow stronger and better because of them.